I Know How To Fix Big Game Trophy Hunting

"macanamera" (macanamera) 07/29/2015 at 12:24 • Filed to: None

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So the Internet is up in arms about this dentist that killed Cecil the lion, and honestly, they should be. Killing animals for trophies is pretty disgusting. That being said, I don’t think there should be an outright ban on big game trophy hunts...I just think the rules should be modified...

See, aside from being cruel, the problem with these hunts is that I’m not impressed. You put a lion down with a .375 H&H Magnum? Well yeah, of course you did, it’s a fucking cannon and you shot it from 300 yards. You killed a rhino with a .700 nitro? Great, you could stop a fucking car with a .700 nitro.

See, if taking these trophies is going to be something to brag about, let’s make it tough. Let’s make it something worth bragging about. And so, here’s my suggestion:

If you want to hunt big 5 game in Africa, you can. With a 6 inch tactical knife. Heck, bring friends. As many as you want.

Now you might be saying “Shut up dude, that’s ridiculous. It’s basically impossible to kill a lion with a knife”.

Well, you’re right! BECAUSE IT’S A FUCKING LION! Killing it shouldn’t be easy enough for my 71 year old grandmother to do from 180 yards sitting in an air conditioned Land Rover! Sure, if my idea is implemented you will probably die, but just think about it! If you win...you killed a 400 pound lion WITH A FUCKING KNIFE! Now that’s something to brag about. Chop its head off, wear it’s testicles around your neck as a necklace. You deserved it.

EL_ULY > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:28

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Anybody can get past a dog. But NOBODY fucks with a lion.

atrombs > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:29

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That’s a hunting show I would watch for sure.

Azrek > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:29

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I am good with Big Game huntings as long as it is something like the lions of Tsavo that ate like 300 people. Those kinna needed to be put down.

450X_FTW > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:32

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Been hunting deer since I was 12 years old, 18 years later I still hunt deer, and I still don’t understand trophy hunting.

BigBlock440 > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:35

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I’d be pretty damn impressed if someone shot a lion from 300 yards with a handgun.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:35

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He shot it with a bow, and apparently it was not a good shot because one of the guides finished it off with a gun. I don’t shoot an animal unless I intend on eating it, testicles around my neck and all (like you said).

macanamera > EL_ULY 07/29/2015 at 12:36

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Dante is the man

For Sweden > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:36

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Hunting is OK, as long as you feel guilty about it.

Officer Jim Lahey is not a real cop > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:41

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Haven’t read your post yet, but I’m assuming you’re proposing to arm lions with hunting knives, and I fully support this.

macanamera > For Sweden 07/29/2015 at 12:41

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It’s about ethics in animal murder.

macanamera > Officer Jim Lahey is not a real cop 07/29/2015 at 12:41

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Obviously, what else would I be proposing?

macanamera > BigBlock440 07/29/2015 at 12:42

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What about 50 yards?

For Sweden > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:43

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True. That lion had murders thousands of animals in his life. It’s about time the genocidal monster met justice.

BigBlock440 > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:45

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That’s way closer than I’d ever want to be to a lion

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > For Sweden 07/29/2015 at 12:46

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Maybe the darkest yet inspiring thing I have ever read.

macanamera > BigBlock440 07/29/2015 at 12:49

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But see that also makes sense because ITS A FUCKING LION. You shouldn't want to be close to it.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:52

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This x1000.

I’m all for responsible hunting, like if you want to kill a deer and eat it, that’s fine. Deer are fucking stupid anyways. In fact, I sometimes think they want to get shot. At the range I work at, they will wander down the hill and stand behind the targets, WHILE WE ARE SHOOTING.

But shooting a lion just because makes you an asshole.

Also, have a CRKT in my pocket as we speak.

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:53

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CRKT knives rock! I used to have one.

PS9 > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 12:54

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This is why I don’t have Q powers. Snap my fingers and dude would be all alone on the savannah at night with nothing but a butterknife in his pocket.

Oh, and all the other lions will know what he did and what he smells like.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches 07/29/2015 at 12:55

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I’ve had 3, first two were stolen by unscrupulous roommates.

The Ghost of Oppo > BigBlock440 07/29/2015 at 12:55

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.375 H&H Magnum is a rifle round

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > Snuze: Needs another Swede 07/29/2015 at 12:57

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I lost mine while stocking at work :(

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Azrek 07/29/2015 at 12:59

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That makes sense, though. There’s a difference between game hunting to save peoples lives, and shooting rare, exotic, often endangered animals just to get your jimmies off.

I know a guy who hunts “problem elephants.” Apparently as they get old they occasionally start to lose their shit, its like alzheimers, but more stompy. They will come into villages and wreck peoples shit, smash their homes, crush them to death. So he puts them down humanely. And gives the remains to the village so they can eat/make leather/etc., no trophys involved.

BigBlock440 > The Ghost of Oppo 07/29/2015 at 13:06

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I guess I’m dyslexic, I read it as .357 Magnum, not .375. Oops.

McMike > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 13:08

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At least let us tie to a stick, or something. Lion arms are pretty long.

macanamera > McMike 07/29/2015 at 13:11

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Anything you want to do with the knife is legal!

The Ghost of Oppo > BigBlock440 07/29/2015 at 13:11

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Magnum rounds in general were original developed for big game hunting. Blame the Brits

Snuze: Needs another Swede > BigBlock440 07/29/2015 at 13:13

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It happens. I know a guy who hunts “problem” elephants, as I mentioned in another response somewhere further down. My sister works for him, so I asked her if she knew what he hunts with, and she said “I think he said it was a .357 magnum.”

So I’m thinking holy shit, this guy must be the greatest shot in the world. And have balls of steel because I couldn’t imagine scoring a penetrating hit from more than about 50 yards, if that. Turns out it was a .375 H&H. Biiiiiiiig difference.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 13:16

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Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 13:16

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Even better would just be that you cant bring any gear of any kind with you, including a knife. You can use any weapon you want as long as you create it while in the wild with the lion. Make a spear, build a trap in the ground with a spike pit. Capture some gazelles and lure the lion in. Either that or just make it fist-to-cuffs only. Guns are definitely cheating.

whoarder is tellurium > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 13:22

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Related ... and at least give someone a sidearm in case they really suck at hunting:

SummerFun > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 13:23

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Sorry, no knife. Here’s this rock, tie it to a stick and try your luck.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 13:24

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While you’re hunting with said knife, you should also wear a (second) meat vest. To make the lions easier to find, of course.

haveacarortwoorthree > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 07/29/2015 at 13:24

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Wouldn’t it be fist to paws? I mean, the lions probably don’t dress for dinner.

McMike > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 13:31

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Anything you want to do with the knife is legal!

Rico > BigBlock440 07/29/2015 at 13:35

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Does life hand you melons?

Racescort666 > The Ghost of Oppo 07/29/2015 at 13:39

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Some were, .357 Mag was designed for police forces to shoot through car doors and still kill someone on the other side.

Sam > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 13:39

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I also think tree stands are lame and people who kill from them aren’t really hunters. Hunters track their prey and then strike when the moment is right. Treestanders just sit and have a beer until Bambi wanders by for them to gun down.

BigBlock440 > Rico 07/29/2015 at 13:41

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When I put the seeds in the dirt and wait a few months

Racescort666 > BigBlock440 07/29/2015 at 13:43

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I don’t know that anyone has ever tried it but I remember reading a magazine article where the author was shooting 1.5 MOA (1.5-2 inch groups) at 100 yards with a Ruger Super Redhawk. Granted, that was on a bench with a spotter and a scope but the .454 was designed for medium game.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > haveacarortwoorthree 07/29/2015 at 13:44

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BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE > Officer Jim Lahey is not a real cop 07/29/2015 at 13:47

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Frig off Mr. Lahey

Pearson Hurst > McMike 07/29/2015 at 13:50

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This clearly wins the internet for today.

Baeromez > Sam 07/29/2015 at 14:28

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The ignorance of this post is overwhelming.

XJDano > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 14:52

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I have gone deer hunting. I have harvested deer. They taste good. I would imagine you would only need to go lion hunting if you were going to do catering for a Chinese restaurant.

I don't see the allure or gratification in killing a lion or a bear. Kill to eat not just for sport. That's stupid.

Tohru > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 15:40

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I just found out about this, and honestly I don’t get it.

People are ruining this guy’s life and wishing death upon him, because he shot a cat. A big cat, yes, and one that was supposed to be protected, but it’s a cat. Yes, it really sucks that he shot it, but does he need to lose his livelihood and be told that he should hang to death for it?

What is wrong with modern society that everyone has to go full nuclear rage over everything?

Remember when that scientist wore a shirt with scantily-clad ladies on it WHILE HE HELPED LAND A PROBE ON A FUCKING COMET and people tore into him so bad he had an emotional breakdown while publicly apologizing?

kanadanmajava1 > Tohru 07/29/2015 at 16:16

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I haven’t heard about that scientist but shaming him doesn’t sound fair at all. What’s this weird phobia for nakedness anyway?

But I haven’t got any pity for the dentist. A dentist who pays $55k (or what was it) to kill an endangered animal with a crossbow sounds pretty mentally ill to me. He even failed to kill it and they hunted 40 hours the finish off the injured animal.

Tohru > kanadanmajava1 07/29/2015 at 16:39

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The tattooed scientist who is part of the team leading the Rosetta mission has apologized for wearing a shirt with partially clothed cartoons of women on it.

Dr Matt Taylor, 41, who is originally from Manor Park, London, wore the colourful shirt featuring a print of PVC-clad women when speaking to the media in an update on the space mission.

The physicist, who played a major role in the key scientific achievement, made an apology for his choice of attire during a live web-chat on Google this afternoon.

He said: “The shirt I wore this week I made a big mistake and I offended many people. I am very sorry for this.”

brianbrannon > macanamera 07/29/2015 at 17:45

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This is how it actually works

http://podcasts.joerogan.net/podcasts/corey…

kanadanmajava1 > Tohru 07/29/2015 at 21:46

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Seems to be pretty colorful guy (also literally). Sad to hear that he got “punished” for that.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > macanamera 07/30/2015 at 01:35

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What if I use said knife to carve myself a bow and arrow set then become as good at archery as that hunger games chick and then take down the lion from 300 yards with an arrow?

macanamera > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 07/30/2015 at 08:22

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Then great job! That's not easy!